You’re just an illusion
I don’t believe in you anymore
You were just amusement
I don’t need you like before
I’m awake now, I realize you’re not real
I feel empty too, you’re as fake as how I feel
I’m trapped in a mirror, but here’s the twist
I’m as real as you, I don’t even exist.
7/18/2012
I want to be loved and accepted
Instead of being hated and rejected
Pain is my lifelong companion, present till the end
So I have turned this ever present enemy
into a strange new friend
Maybe in this way,
Maybe one day,
I can politely tell my friend to go away.
7/27/2012
So badly I wish I could cry
However I have no more tears
I’ve cried myself dry
So many years
Unable to shed tears
The pain hides itself behind a wicked smile
The promise of revenge brings comfort for a while.
7/22/2012
Life is like a dream floating down a stream.
But we’re not all on the same boat;
Some have fancy ships others are stranded afloat.
My boat sank, all I have left is this life vest
Struggling not to drown, doing my very best.
The gentle streams have become raging rapids
So many drowning souls, you can hear the screams.
These nightmares have become a reality, no longer harmless dreams.
7/22/2012
Her warm hug feels like home
Somewhere I’ve never been before,
Somewhere I’ve never known
How do I know I am welcome?
I’ve been locked out for so many years
Don’t know love, but I know heartbreak and tears
I’ve been alone for so long
Company is now one of my fears
Home is where the heart is
But I see it as weakness
I keep my guard up,
Therefore I am homeless.
7/18/2012
I want to die
I want to cry
I can’t do either
I don’t know why?
I wish I could fly
But I fall on my face
Trying desperately
To leave this place.
7/9/2012
Trapped in this paradox called life
There is nothing for me here
I live in constant fear
Shed so many, I don’t have any more tears
But I still feel the pain
My mind decays with time
I have nothing to live for
Begging God not to let me be born again.
7/9/2012
Humanity ain’t shit
Life is insignificant
A word out of spit
Where to go?
Just throw me in a black hole
Heaven left me stranded
I was born, abandoned
And this is the hell I was handed
Scorned
Is this what God commanded?
I used to work in hell
But then I quit
Stole everything I could
Then I split
Tried to make it to heaven
But got stuck in the world of men
Halfway on Earth forced to live day by day
Money is like water here, so I had to get paid
Now I’m selling stolen souls
They’re from hell so they burn like coals
God doesn’t like me
So I get depressed when it’s sunny
Only come out in the dark
To make my sales and get my money
But then an angel wanted to fight
I stabbed him with the Devil’s pitchfork that night
Thank God I stole that pitchfork from hell
But now God is after me and the Devil as well
Running from good and evil
I have to make my escape
If I get caught, I can’t imagine my fate.
12/2009
The world is dead to me
It costs to live, I refuse to pay the fee
I feed off of pain
Until it is a part of me
Trapped in my mind
Never free
Strapped with a nine
No mercy.
12/2009
Without a plot or a scheme
I move through life like it’s a dream
Nobody is self-made you need a team
But a man is a man
God has no plan.
12/2009
Everybody is selfish so fuck people
Life is torture and unequal
Unfair and without a sequel
A lifetime goes by like the day
The light shines
But never fails to go away
I’ve been abandoned on this Earth
Watch your step cause I’m cursed
And I don’t give a fuck for what it’s worth
Why live if there is nothing to earn?
Why study if there is nothing to learn?
Death is coming, I’m just waiting my turn
There are no friends in this life
I’ve been stabbed in the back with my own knife.
12/22/2009
I am a time bomb waiting to self-destruct
Going against me is a catch-22
Either way you’re fucked
I can’t lose
My heart is an explosive you can’t defuse.
12/22/2009
